Waiting and waiting. Everything is so quiet here in the ICU. I just hear the sound of my daughter straining to breathe. She moans in pain as she draws up every breath. Her chest rises, her face strains. She loudly moans what would be a shout, if only she had enough energy to shout; whenever she is touched or moved anywhere. There is a tube stuck in her side, that goes to her lung, draining out a horrible mixture of blood and fluid, with the consistancy of cottage cheese. There are puncture wounds up and down her arms and her feet, where the doctors probe her veins looking for a sample to test out the latest antibiotic. She can not speak, nor can she move. She is weighted down with tubes connected to IV bags full of all kinds of antibiotics and medicines, trying to make her well; and monitors watching her heart, pulse rate, oxygen levels and bloodpressure. 

But, she continues to get worse. Nothing is working. They are trying hard! But, nothing is helping. It is in her blood, her heart and her lungs. Her lungs have nodules of fungus throughout, along with fluid. She is burning up with fever.  She has a cathater into her bladder. Every place they have connected her to live saving tubes, the site is a potential source of further infection.

All of this started with a teenage girl who fell in love with a boy. He broke her heart like all teenage boys tend to do….and she just wanted to be a more “fun” girl. A girl who would party. A girl she thought he would like. She just wanted to have fun.

Let me tell you, not much has been fun….